Today's Daily DumbAss

A Compendium of Everything Wrong In The World

Alligator in Hot Tub!

Vero Beach, FL - A scare for some people living in a Florida neighborhood after a alligator was found in an unusual spot. Deputies were serving a drug related arrest warrant when they found the alligator. Detectives say the suspect told them the alligator was there when he moved in and he was just feeding it. He's now being charged with possession of an alligator without a permit. Florida Fish and Wildlife officials removed the gator.

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18-foot 'sea monster' terrorizes Internet

 

A snorkeler off the coast of California made an alarming discovery this weekend while paddling around Catalina Island, south of Los Angeles: a recently-deceased 18-foot oarfish, one of the creatures thought to be the "sea serpents" of nautical legend.

Jasmine Santana, a science instructor for the Catalina Island Marine Institute (CIMI), was on an ordinary excursion in Toyon Bay when she spotted the silvery creature lying on the sea bed just 15 feet under the waves.

After checking to make sure it was truly dead (with anything this size, it pays to be careful) and donning gloves, she and some colleagues managed to bring it to the surface and drag it to shore.

At 18 feet long, the oarfish was too big for her to lift alone, even underwater — and it took 15 people to handle it on land (CIMI says it could weigh as much as 300 pounds). Yet for an oarfish, the largest of all bony fish, 18 feet is pretty shrimpy; they can grow to over 50 feet,according to NOAA.

 

Still, an 18-foot fish makes for a great story, and the find has been making its way around the Internet on news sites, Facebook and Twitter. Fear has been a primary theme: "This is my nightmare!" wrote one Twitter user; "This is the most terrifying animal you could ever come across while swimming in the ocean. EVER," wrote another; "Welp, we're never going in the water again," said a third.

Kent Woods, CIMI's marketing director, said the office is flooded with inquiries.

Very little is known about oarfish, since it seems to spend most of its time hundreds of feet below the surface. They're rarely found dead or alive, but in 2011, an undersea rover from Louisiana State University captured the elusive creature in its home territory, around 360 feet down:

Their great size and rarity have contributed to the opinion that they may be one of the creatures described as sea monsters or serpents by early sailors, to whom these exotic deep-dwelling oceanic animals would be novel and likely quite terrifying. Other animals implicated in the legends are unfamiliar whales, frilled sharks, and giant squid.

As for Santana's find, which appears to have died naturally and washed into the bay, CIMI is keeping the fish on ice while they figure out how to get the maximum scientific value out of it:

"We have a fairly well-known biologist we're trying to call out to do a dissection of the fish," Woods told NBC News in a phone interview, referring to Milton Love of UC Santa Barbara. After that, it'll join the Institute's already impressive roster of skeletons.

"The plan is to bury the fish, and little critters will eat the meat but not the bones," continued Woods. The bones would then be excavated, cleaned, and mounted for visitors to admire.

Woman trying to run from police gets hit by two trains

A 29-year-old woman in Woods Corss, Utah, trying to run from police in a W211 Mercedes E-class, ends up getting struck by two trains.
The video was captured from a police officer’s dash cam.

It was reported that the woman only suffered a broken arm, and authorities haven’t confirmed whether or not the woman was intoxicated.

Fla. Woman Becomes Stranded on Raised Drawbridge

A Florida woman had to be rescued by the fire department after she became stuck on a draw bridge more than 20 feet in the air.

The woman, identified as Wanda McGowan by ABC News affiliate WPLG-TV in Miami, had taken part in a 5k walk for a breast cancer charity earlier in the day. As she crossed the railroad bridge, which is not made for pedestrians, it rose and McGowan became trapped. 

In video of the incident McGowan can be seen clutching the railroad ties in her pink T-shirt as onlookers call for help.

"She was hanging on for dear life," Anna Matlack, who witnessed the incident, told WPLG-TV.

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The bridge McGowan was walking across is operated remotely and has a sign that warns pedestrians not to trespass. It's unclear why McGowan was crossing the bridge.

After the bridge raised, multiple witnesses called 911 for help. Firefighters dispatched to the scene were able to get McGowan down via a 24-foot ladder.

After about 20 minutes, McGowan was able to safely climb down. According to witnesses, she never let go of her bright pink handbag.

Video: Oakland Cops Taser Fan During Game 1 of Athletics v Tigers Playoff Game

 

According to reports we've seen, this all started with the guy's wife.  That's right, she got him tased.
She was allegedly pounding on the roof of the visiting team's dugout (the Detroit Tigers) to the beat of some music and was asked to stop by stadium security. When she didn't, they ejected her from the ballpark. At that point her husband started jawing with security about how poorly his woman was being treated and they tried to escort him out as well.
And, of course, he wouldn't or couldn't go quietly.  And that's where are video starts.
Think the Oakland cops over-reacted? Should they have fired a warning tase first?

Pelosi: We Have to Implement Obamacare Before We Make Any Changes to It

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) said Thursday that Democrats will not consider making any changes to Obamacare.

 

She said lawmakers may consider amending the bill — but only after it’s been implemented.

“None of these suggestions [are] acceptable,” Pelosi said in reference to Republican efforts to delay the law’s individual mandate for one year.

“After we open government and a plan is in place — any law that a Congress makes, a Congress can make another law and so bring your ideas forward. But not, with government shut down and before the plan is even in effect, are they going to make changes,” she said. “We’ll see how it works — [we're] open to other suggestions, but not shutting down the government unless you have your way, before the bill is implemented.”

Pelosi said Republicans have a secret motive for wanting to attack President Barack Obama’s signature health care law.

“[W]hat they’re trying to get to, you know, is Medicare and the rest of that under the guise of the Affordable Care Act,” Pelosi said. “So be very careful about the facade that they put on this health issue, because what we’re concerned about is where they go next on that subject.”

Source: TheBlaze.com, Washington Examiner

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